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'Wenlock Edge' by Alice Munro prompts an observation about the power of the confessional.
A participant in a reading group recommended Alice Munro’s short story 'Wenlock Edge' to me recently. I don’t usually take recommendations as our reading material is very carefully curated, but something about the story struck me. And it was by Nobel Prize winner Alice Munro, a master of the short story.
The story raises themes of power and control, of happiness and sabotage, and most shockingly, our propensity to surprise ourselves with the stupidity, or inconsiderateness or even the maliciousness of our actions.
With the narrative almost over, the narrator is observing students going about their business, and she imagines “most of them on a course, as I was, of getting to know the ways of their own wickedness.”
It is a startling line that rocks our complacent belief of the ‘goodness’ of the narrator. Also, it undermines our belief in our own goodness. It is a line that brings to mind a litany of difficult-to-think-about moments from our own lives. How we have behaved petulantly, jealously, rashly, controlling-ly, or unkindly. How we have privileged our own needs and desires, sometimes over the wellbeing of others.
It brings to mind a primal fear; that if someone where to truly know what we’re capable of, that they would disown us, excommunicate us. We live with the intimate knowledge of our own darkness. Sometimes this is too painful to admit, even to ourselves, let alone other people.
In a Shared Reading group, a confessional mood sometimes emerges organically, in response to a story or poem. Something about discussing the humanity of a character can resonate with us. It can liberate people to talk more freely than they would ordinarily.
On one such occasion a group member who had been serving in the army during the Korean war told a group of how a ‘moment of stupidity’ had ‘cost another man his life.’ He described being late for a task and running to catch up with his group. He ran across a field that he was later told had landmines scattered throughout it. He was reprimanded, but luckily he survived. Someone else however had seen him running across the area and followed. He stepped on a landmine and was killed.
The man in question had lived with the guilt of this moment for 60 years. He had never dared share it with anyone. He was 90 years old and he recounted the story with tears in his eyes. His belief that he was responsible for the death of his fellow soldier prevented him from ever disclosing this monumental story from his life.
The inviting atmosphere of the group subdued the fear that he would be condemned. He volunteered the story and what he found was that people responded with love, understanding and compassion. They told him that the other soldier was responsible for his own actions. He thanked them and spoke of relief at having shared.
At other times people have spoken about times they have behaved less than impeccably. Disputes with neighbours, family feuds, love rivalries have all been occasions which have provoked and encouraged a multitude of sins.
The beauty of this process is, as well as being often terrifically amusing as we recount our indiscretions, that we get a sense of the universality of transgression. We get a visceral sense that we all fall below the standards we set and the standards we project out to others.
We have all screamed, cursed, lashed out, been caught at weak moments. We all experience desire, envy, pride, and have all made mistakes which have hurt others. Sharing these moments and having them witness, but not judged can allow us to begin to accept ourselves, even love ourselves more.
Instead of pretending to be too good to be true, we can admit our faults to ourselves. We can say we are too true to be good.
Confession can help you find...
Relief at putting down the mask we wear in order to be liked.
Solidarity with other people who are open to exploring themselves.
Reduction in the need for judgement or competition
A place to speak about difficult emotions such as guilt or shame
Self-compassion
Make peace with imperfections of our life and ourselves.
Here are 8 great stories which explore the flawed nature of humans...
1. Wenlock Edge by Alice Munro
2. Biscuits by Douglas Adams
3. The Secret Sharer by Joseph Conrad
4. Lamb to the slaughter by Rold Dahl
5. All the years of her life by Morley Callagahn
6. Thank you M’aam by Langston Hughes
7. The Mcgugle Account by Sharma Shields
8. The Worm in the Apple by John Cheever
You can read 'Wenlock Edge' by Alice Munro on 'The New Yorker' website here
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